It is hard enough to eek out a living as an artist without a child. With kids you are definitely rolling a ball uphill. For me, creating family programming in addition to my previous work with my dance company was a creative way to address this. It utilizes my skills and interests but they are re-contextualized and there is a broader market there. Also this allows my daughter to connect easily to what we do. I'd hate for her to dislike art because it’s the very thing that keeps me away from her. I made a really conscious decision about finding a way to have the practice of making art bring us together as family.

 

 

Balancing any career and raising a family is hard, I think. But often worth it for all the reasons we already know: sense of self, pride, income, contribution to your field, intellectual stimulation, and more. Balancing a dance career and raising a family is particularly challenging, I think, because there is no set path to travel along. There is no ladder to climb and usually no 8-5 schedule. If you do happen to have a full-time dance job or work with an established company, the pay is not typically substantial enough (or the work consistent enough) to actually live in the area, without other jobs and/or additional support. There are the few, desired, full or nearly full-time dance teaching jobs but those often leave little time for your own practice or creation, particularly if you have a family which is (I still marvel!), incredibly time-consuming and labor intensive. All of these elements and so many more, challenge our notions of "success." Not a bad thing, necessarily, but at times, profoundly confusing.

 

When my first daughter was an infant and I joined the ODC company, I was thrilled and excited. I was also relieved, in a way, to have someone tell me what I had to do and when. I wanted to be back, rehearsing and performing but did not feel I had the bandwidth to piece together my own dance existence at that time. And yet, a full-time job away from my infant daughter presented many other challenges, personal and practical. One example: my paycheck went directly and 100% to the childcare provider for my baby. That reality forced me to examine my desire to dance at that level and my love of the particular job in a way that I may not have, had I been making a higher (non-dance) salary and contributing to the family "pot" even though I was spending so much time away.

 

I feel fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with my kids and to be able to dance a fair amount, still. It is not always easy on our family schedule or on our family finances, but I think I have to do it, and I am so very thankful that I get to. I take paid dance jobs, but there are plenty that I essentially pay to do. There exists an elusive balance of time and creativity and childcare and school and dinner and (on and on…) that I am trying to reach, every day. But it is of great value to me that my daughters see me as someone who uses her body articulately and creatively and that being an artist is my career, albeit a somewhat non-traditional one. Lastly, being a mom does not necessarily make me a better dancer but dancing certainly makes me a better (saner, happier) mom.

 

 

For a long time, I was seeking balance between the various aspects of my life, professional and personal. I have come to the conclusion that balance is nearly impossible. Instead, I think of this process as managing the falling and while doing so, keeping a sense of humor and humility. Over time, I think that I’ve gotten better at being efficient, at prioritizing, at saying “no” when needed and in all honesty, I feel that my professional life is richer because of my family at home. I think I teach with greater empathy, patience and attention to individual differences. The opposite is true as well—that my family life is richer because I’m engaged in a profession about which I’m passionate. I strive to model passionate and committed work for my children. I am fully engaged in both aspects of my life. I only hope to gain more sleep one day.  

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